Tuesday, March 11, 2014

That Guy

You know that guy, the one who never shaves before he comes to church, and always wears a colored shirt.  That guy who makes uncomfortable comments in Gospel Doctrine class and gives uncomfortable lessons in priesthood meeting.  That guy who just can't follow the manual or read from the Ensign.

Then there's that guy who turns every discussion into a gospel discussion, who sounds critical of the leaders.  That guy who doesn't attend church every week.  The one who wouldn't think anything about sneaking a mild barley drink now and then when no one is looking. 

And you also know that guy, the one whose relatives aren't pioneer stock, who left the church.  That guy who lets his kids play on Sunday and (gasp) watch TV on Sunday, but still claims to keep the Sabbath day holy.

And who could forget that guy with the checkered past, who didn't serve a mission, who had to confess a few things to the bishop.  That guy who is a spendthrift, always buying new cars and fancy stuff.

And finally, we all know that guy who just doesn't understand doctrine correctly, always spouting off funny ideas.  That guy who lets slip the occasional curse word, and skips church sometimes to take his family hiking or on vacation.

We all know that guy.  It's too bad about him.  He just doesn't get what it is be Mormon.  He doesn't follow his leaders.  He doesn't look like a Mormon.  That guy is going to end up in the Telestial kingdom if he doesn't follow the prophet.  I would hate to be that guy.

Oh crap...


  1. Oh Man,

    This post made me laugh out loud. You NAILED it.

    I'm that guy. Last week, when I taught an uncomfortable lesson in priesthood meeting, I wore a white shirt to try to lessen (ha!) the blow to the quorum--instead of my usual colored shirt. But since I was only sporting 3 days of growth, I didn't shave first.

    I don't worry about going to the Telestial Kingdom, since we're already there...But I'm trying like Hell to get out of the Telestial Kingdom. That's for sure.

  2. I quit wearing white shirts as a passive-aggressive way to thumb my nose at the corporation. I also make it a point to have at least 3 or 4 days of beard growth. I would do more but it's too itchy.

    Good on you for looking to get out of the Telestial Kingdom. I'm pretty sure there is not a corporate-sanctioned dress and grooming code in the Terrestrial Kingdom.